It’s only me, myself and I.

It’s been a long time since I left my hobbies on writing. I miss writing on my blog. You’ll noticed that this is my first post, why is that? Well… because I just deleted my old blog. I don’t know why I deleted it.

I’m so frustrated and very confused. I’m writing these things because right now I feel like I don’t have someone whom I could trust. And I feel like I’m all alone in this crap. I hate this feeling but I always told my friends that I want to be alone. But sometimes, being alone really helps.

I miss my high school days, and my college life. I miss the time when I can have someone whom I can trust and whom I can tell what I really feel. I’m the only one now. I can’t trust anyone at this point. I wanted to shout, I really want to cry and take off all these shits out of me. But even if I burst out my tears, the pain is still there.

I think I’m in the middle of nowhere. I don’t know what I want. I don’t know where I am. I need something but I don’t know what it is. In short, I’m just not happy. I can’t even remember when the last time I felt happiness was. I am very confused and hoping that someone could help me out.

I miss my younger days when there are no so much complications in my life; only those school days, recitations and exam days. But as my boss said… “As you get older, things are getting more complicated.” And this is very true. You have to make your choice; it’s only you who could choose for yourself. Even if you have your parents and friends beside you, it’s you who’ll decide for yourself. And it’s very hard to make decisions on your own because it’s very hard to blame yourself. It’s a lot easier to blame others, but to blame yourself for what’s happening to you right now is really frustrating. That’s why you have to analyze things and weigh them for you to decide which is which.

Writing to this blog helps me a lot, especially now when I can’t talk to someone. Because I just don’t trust them. It’s only me, myself and I.